


atlantis

by planetes



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Langst, M/M, Near Death Experiences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 12:12:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14592786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/planetes/pseuds/planetes
Summary: Words were either too much or too little, too shallow or terrifyingly deep. How much of his heart was he willing to give away? Did it even belong to him anymore? Regardless, in the end, none of it mattered. As weightlessness shot a numbing sensation through him and his body could only fall and fall more into the increasing darkness, he wished he had understood it sooner.Lance wondered if Keith had ever been told he was loved.He supposed he was too late.





	atlantis

**Author's Note:**

> TW: DROWNING, please be careful to proceed

When night came -  Lance thought, as his body shook and tears welled up in his eyes - all he could do was miss.

 

He, who had been used to crying every few days, felt more alone and hopeless than usual. Even when the sadness let up, a feeling of desperation was quick to wash over him, making it hard to breathe and stealing a great part of his sleeping time. Lance silently willed himself to stop shifting around and _thinking_ , but it never quite worked as he wanted.

 

Lance was absolutely exhausted. Everyday felt like a chore, and his mind would only give him a break when it was time to fight. When he wasn’t piloting Red, everything came crashing down on him again. It felt like there was something permanently stuck in his throat and Lance craved so bad to spit it out, to return to finding comfort in breathing - but nothing was ever easy anymore. Smiling and throwing jokes around, randomly flirting now and then, felt like his obligation. If he could only be a distraction to his fellow teammates, making sure they didn’t feel the same pain that made a home in his chest, it would be worth it.

 

But damn if putting on a mask each day wasn’t a struggle. During the day he would laugh around and stop being the _real_ Lance, the one he never quite let anyone see clearly. When flying Voltron, he easily became Lance, the paladin, serious and focused on the mission ahead. Nights were different, though - alone in the darkness of his room, only lit by the infinity of stars passing by his window, Lance could only think of all the fear and loneliness parasitizing his heart.

 

Lance was tired of missing people.

 

Lance was tired of _losing people_.

 

He was haunted by the memories of his family; regardless of them being good or bad, Lance ached for them. When his eyes closed, he could only picture the faces he missed so much, wonder about how they currently looked, if he was missed, if he had broken their hearts irreparably. The longing for the blue planet left him feeling as if he was floating, if nothing of what had managed to become his daily life was in fact real. His only comfort was to know that even if something happened to him, his family would be safe and sound back home.

 

Keith was, however, something entirely different.

 

If his family filled him with sorrow for being galaxies away, Keith brought a strong sense of fear; every waking thought of him felt like a sting, making Lance tense and lose his appetite, his body turning too heavy to carry around when the weight of Keith’s absence was sure to be brought back down on him.

 

His dreams of dark, beautiful violet eyes, were only ever nightmares. Lance had inevitably come to associate the boy with red, but the violent scarlet haunting his sleep only terrified him, forcing Lance awake in a cold sweat, his heart painfully beating hard in his chest.

 

And so, Lance cried.

 

Cried and screamed into his pillow, gripping it so tightly his knuckles hurt, as if it were his lifeline. As if Keith’s departure wasn’t enough of a blow, Lance rarely got an update on how he was doing, leaving him to wonder aimlessly; hell, Keith could die and they would only know when the Blade reported it to them.

 

They lived among the stars and visited countless planets, met with different species and wars - but Lance had never felt as small and powerless as he had when watching Keith’s back as he left.

 

Weren’t they a team?

 

_Where are you now?_

 

Weren’t they a family?

 

_Was it only a fantasy?_

 

Lance gave up trying to sleep. He got up, pulling his blanket with him and sat on the floor, by the window. Tears silently insisted on rolling down his cheeks while he stared at the multitude of stars, wondering if Keith had any clue he was Lance’s favorite one.

 

 

# •

 

 

Lance wasn’t fast enough.

 

He processed shouts and cries as he ran through the purple halls, stopping to shoot down sentries chasing him every once in a while. The ship started shaking, and Lance knew he didn’t have much time. Pidge yelled at him through the comms and he did his best to run faster, as fast as he could, to get off the ship.

 

_Lance wasn’t fast enough._

 

He heard an unbearable sound and suddenly he wasn’t on the ground anymore, the explosion effectively destroying most of the ship. His body was thrown far away, along with some remnant debris through the atmosphere of the planet they were on.

 

Lance fell.

 

He could tell that much, feeling the wind’s speed around him; maybe, he would have made it if he moved at the same pace as that planet’s gravity. His brain felt blurry, whatever adrenaline left in his veins vanishing completely when he opened his eyes.

 

His eyes saw blue.

 

All he could see was blue surrounding him as he fell from the sky, the purple ships floating in the air gradually losing their meaning to Lance. The blue felt fascinatingly familiar, leaving nothing but a feeling of nostalgic warmth inside him.

 

He could see the cold, sometimes harsh waves throwing him back to shore.

 

He could see his younger siblings clinging to him as he led them into the moving water for the first time.

 

He could see his mother’s teary eyes betraying her smile as he left.

 

Lance could see the shining symbols decorating the walls of a mysterious cave.

 

Could see a giant robotic lion that granted him the honor to fly with her.

 

How dark, violet eyes reflected in amazement strange alien holograms in the dark-

 

Lance smiled, feeling embraced by the falling surroundings around him.

 

_This could have been home._

 

Everything came to a halt when his back hit the surface and water swallowed him whole. His fall slowed down considerably as his body slowly sank deeper in the ocean. He could still see the light shining through from above, invading the darkening blue that welcomed him. If he was crying, it wasn’t possible to tell. He felt cold, yet at peace. Lance remembered how good of a swimmer he was, how the sea was his comfort, his second home. He thought of moving his legs and pulling himself up until he reached the surface.

 

Voltron, his teammates’ screams, the tiny thread of hope of meeting his family again, the beautiful boy he couldn’t help but painfully miss-

 

Lance tried to hold onto those thoughts, as much as he could. His eyelids wouldn’t stop drooping and his legs wouldn’t obey him. In the silence shielding his ears, he could almost hear a kind sound, lulling him to sleep as his lungs began to feel like fire. He couldn’t say he had no regrets. In fact, he had many; Lance knew he couldn’t change them all, but there was something he could fix. Lance would only need to be honest and stop running, stop pretending not to see what couldn’t be denied - a truth so heavy and uncertain it paralyzed his tongue and took his voice as prisoner. He, who had never had trouble to speak, found himself unable to say anything.

 

Words were either too much or too little, too shallow or terrifyingly deep. How much of his heart was he willing to give away? Did it even belong to him anymore? Regardless, in the end, none of it mattered. As weightlessness shot a numbing sensation through him and his body could only fall and fall more into the increasing darkness, he wished he had understood it sooner.

 

Lance wondered if Keith had ever been told he was loved.

 

He supposed he was too late.

 

The remaining meters to get off the doomed ship, the speed Lance didn’t possess, how he bit his tongue so he wouldn’t say _don’t leave_ \- the flashes haunted him and he wanted nothing more than to go back.

 

Lance’s eyes finally let go and fluttered closed. His back hit the sand and his limbs followed along, leaving him to lie down completely over the sea’s floor. The remaining air slowly left him and he could only think of how both fitting and ironic it was for him to drown in the ocean.

 

Keith had always looked at ease in space. Among the stars, he seemed more relaxed, like they shared some type of intimacy with him. Keith shared with Lance the habit of staring out the windows in silence, looking at the rapidly passing galaxies. However, differently from Lance, who sought comfort in them, Keith seemed to be naturally attracted to the stars. If Lance was sad and lonely, Keith looked anything but when his mind wandered out there among millions of lights.

 

Space was Keith’s home, more than Earth could have ever been. Lance didn’t like it; the thought made them feel infinitely apart even as they sat inches from one another. Lance loved space, but he desperately wanted his planet, his mother’s hugs and the salty water repeatedly caressing his toes - his home.

 

He wasn’t Keith. And as much as Lance wanted Keith to wish to go back home and back to their normal lives like him, he knew it was pointless. Maybe, he thought, Keith felt homesick back on Earth much like Lance did in the castleship. It made sense; Keith wasn’t entirely human, and his soul had always craved to fly upwards until he could breach the sky and finally be where he truly belonged.

 

Lance had grown up at the beach. It wasn’t unusual for swimming to feel more comforting than walking, for water to let him properly breathe whenever he needed. Lance fell in love with the ocean before anything else. The waves came and went but not once did they ever fail to welcome Lance warmly, as if they had been waiting for him. He felt impossibly loved when underwater, his whole body relaxing and trusting the sea to take care of it.

 

Even then, Lance felt the same. Lying on the bottom of an alien ocean, Lance felt loved and at peace despite his fear of what was about to occur.

 

He wondered if Keith felt unexplainably loved by the planets too.

 

He wondered if the two of them were destined to be apart, for Keith ached for the cosmos while he had settled for Atlantis.

 

While aiming for the stars, Lance had missed how he belonged with the sea.

 

 

# •

 

 

Keith’s heart thud in his chest loudly and he desperately wanted to go down faster, _faster,_ and his ship wouldn’t obey him. It flew at its limit and Keith cursed in frustration and fear, a sense of urgency crushing him as breathing became harder.

 

“Fuck, _fuck_ , why are you so fucking slow?!” he hit the control panel with his fist harshly, grunting as his eyes began to burn.

 

He saw the limp body hit the water and dread grew in his stomach. “No, no, please-“

 

Suddenly, a strong presence called him. Keith froze and his eyes went wide. He registered a red flash passing with impossible speed in front of him and quickly jumped off his seat, opening a vault on the floor hurriedly.

 

Keith jumped.

 

He free fell for no longer than a few seconds before he entered Red through her mouth. Once he was in, the lion immediately turned around and dove down with a speed only she could ever achieve. Being thrown onto the ground and quickly sliding down until his back hit the controls, Keith grunted. He made his way to the pilot chair with difficulty, holding onto the arms with the strongest grip he could manage. Red roared in his mind, telling him what she would do. Keith nodded, watching the ocean’s surface approach them anxiously, ready to go out.

 

Everything darkened when Red dove into the water, moving directly to where she could still feel her current paladin’s presence. When Keith spotted the spread, limp body lying on the sand, he immediately made for the vault exit and waited a few seconds until Red got close enough. Once she stopped, Keith took a large intake of breath and exited through the opening that quickly closed once he was out. Keith instantly started swimming as fast as he could towards Lance, whose lack of movement only made Keith more desperate for speed.

 

Red opened her jaw to let them in and waited. Keith pulled Lance up by the arm when he reached him; he held Lance in his arms tightly and swam back to Red, ignoring his lungs’ cries for air.

 

When they got inside, Red closed her jaw and shot up to the surface, flying towards the shore and landing there. Keith panted harshly as he lay Lance on the metal floor hurriedly, immediately checking the boy’s breathing and pulse. He froze at how he felt no air leaving his nose, but managed to feel a faint pulse through Lance’s neck. Keith was quick to bring Lance’s torso up and skillfully get the armor plate over his chest off and thrown aside.

 

Once Lance was on the floor again, Keith kneeled on his side and brought his palms firmly over the middle of Lance’s chest. He leaned in and began to press his hands on the spot repeatedly, watching for any signs of whether it worked or not. With every unsuccessful compression, as he stared at Lance’s unmoving face, Keith grew painfully frustrated. He could feel Red trying to soothe him in the back of his mind, but she couldn’t quite reach him.

 

“C’mon, c’mon, _please,_ ” he whispered, feeling his breath hitch and tears swell up in his eyes. “You’re a paladin of Voltron!” Keith started pressing down faster as he yelled. “You have to save the universe! You have to go back to rub it in that jerk Iverson’s face how you’re a hero now! You have to go home to your _family_!” Keith sobbed, shutting his eyes while his arms urgently moved.

 

“ _Please, Lance_ ,” Keith begged, now crying freely as a sense of loss consumed him. “What’s the point of saving a universe without you in it?!”

 

Keith panted, stopping the compressions entirely. He cursed, quickly moving next to Lance’s head. Keith cradled it gently and tipped it back before pinching Lance’s nostrils closed and dipping down. He used his free hand to pull Lance’s mouth open and immediately brought their lips together. Keith carefully breathed into Lance’s mouth without disconnecting their lips. It lasted but a second before Keith pulled away and anxiously checked if Lance’s chest had begun to raise.

 

Nothing.

 

Keith held himself together, stilling his breath and continuing. He repeated the same steps and pressed their mouths together.

 

Tears fell onto Lance’s cheek.

 

_Don’t go-_

 

Keith checked again.

 

_Please, live-_

 

His breathing wavered before Keith dove in once more.

 

_I can’t lose you-_

 

Nothing.

 

Keith let out a sob.

 

And another one.

 

Keith screamed, head hanging. It echoed through the walls, piercing and painful. Red showered him with comfort and hope, but Keith didn’t want it.

 

He wanted Lance.

 

Taking a faltering breath, Keith tried to compose himself before looking at Lance’s parted lips.

 

“You’re the water paladin,” Keith whispered, voice strained. “You can’t just drown.”

 

His face got closer until his nose touched Lance’s. Keith closed his eyes as he trembled. “ _Please_ , Lance.”

 

Keith gently closed the distance between them again, meeting Lance’s lips and focusing on the salty taste.

 

It somehow felt like the sweetest thing in the world.

 

He kissed them lightly, barely moving. “Please, breathe,” Keith muttered almost inaudibly before feeling Lance’s lips again, resuming to push air into his mouth.

 

This time, when Keith pulled away, he kept his eyes closed and rested his forehead against Lance's. Despite never being much of a believer, let alone a prayer, Keith couldn’t help but ask for whatever that was out there not to take Lance away.

 

Stuck in his own head as he begged and begged, both aimlessly and desperate, Keith almost missed it.

 

Almost.

 

The faint breath tickled Keith’s nose and he froze, jolting back into a sitting position and staring at Lance’s face. He watched almost in disbelief when his chest raised lightly; suddenly, Lance gasped loudly and took a large intake of breath before turning his head to the side and coughing up the remaining water in his lungs. Lance’s harsh coughing didn’t stop,  and Keith immediately helped him up, taking Lance into his arms. Once the fit stopped, Lance slowly opened his eyes to meet Keith’s crying ones. He quietly stared into them in his confused state, his memory a complete blur clouding his brain.

 

“Oh my god,” Lance breathed, dazed. “I’m dead. I died and went to heaven.”

 

Keith stared for a moment, startled. He then dipped his head and let out a quiet laugh before locking gazes with Lance again. “You’re not dead,” he whispered, feeling hot tears stain his cheeks as a sob escaped him. “Fuck, _you’re alive_. I’m-“

 

Lance knit his brows both in confusion and concern, slowly sitting up to get a better look at him. ”Keith?”

 

Keith stopped kneeling, letting himself sit back on the floor as he broke down. He brought his hands to his face and cried like he had never done before; the adrenaline was wearing off, and all left was the heavy, painful feelings of loss Keith had experienced. The relief of seeing Lance alive was too great, and yet the desperation of feeling the boy slip away in front of him still lingered, bordering on unbearable.

 

“It’s nothing,” Keith sobbed into his palms before dropping them to look at Lance. “Not anymore.”

 

Lance was about to argue when a dizziness hit him and he swayed sideways, falling into Keith’s chest.

 

“Sorry,” Lance muttered by Keith’s neck. “I’m not feeling too good.”

 

Keith willed his tears to stop, knowing he still had something to do. He carefully took Lance in his arms and stood up, walking to the pilot seat and sitting down. He looked up to check if the fight was over before pressing a button to call the castleship.

 

As soon as Allura answered, cries and screams for Lance could be heard, making him flinch from the loudness.

 

“Guys, it’s Keith,” Keith started. “I’m with Lance and Red and we’re heading there soon.”

 

“Is he okay?!” Pidge asked in a strained voice. “Please tell me he’s okay.”

 

“He is, don’t worry,” Keith smiled faintly, still not quite recovered from everything. “We’ll arrive in four. Have a pod ready for him.”

 

“You got it!”

 

The call ended and Red soared upwards, escaping the planet’s atmosphere in seconds. Keith let out an exhausted sigh and unconsciously tightened his hold on the sleeping figure on his lap.

 

 

# •

 

 

Keith couldn’t sleep. He tossed around in his bed, unable to get his thoughts to quiet down. Just remembering what almost had happened had his heart clench and his breath hitch. He couldn’t tell whether the adrenaline remained in his body, or if fear controlled him, flashes of Lance’s eerily stil body invading his mind every time his eyes fell closed.

 

The latter sounded more plausible to him. He bit his lip harshly and pushed himself up on the mattress before sitting on its edge. There was no meaning in suffering awake in his room if he could at least get his heartbeat to slow down and his brain to be quiet. Keith rashly put on his boots before walking out his room and heading to the medical bay. It wasn’t too far away from the paladins’ rooms, and with Keith’s fast strides, he was there in no time. The wide room lit up at his presence as he stared ahead, suddenly anxious. He started approaching the pod slowly, trying to keep his breathing even.

 

After Lance had been safely put in the pod, the team had pushed him out of the room, all claiming that Keith had to rest and recover as well. It was true - aside from the terrifying minutes that haunted him - he felt like absolute garbage. His body hurt all over, and combined with his current psychological state, Keith felt with each movement he made how exhaustion seeped into his bones and begged him to sleep.

 

Keith had had no choice but to obey and head to his room, where he forced himself to take a hot shower to stop the cold feeling of the salty water still covering him at the time. He had put on comfortable clothes and thrown himself on his bed. He figured hours had passed as he lay mostly half asleep, his brain torturing him with pictures every time he started falling asleep for real.

 

There was no way he could sleep, Keith thought, coming to a halt in front of the pod and looking up. Not with Lance inside an icy tube, looking as still as he had been when Keith found him in the ocean. Keith gently touched the cold glass, resting his head against it and closing his eyes.

 

“Wake up already,” he breathed, knowing that only Lance’s smile could soothe his heart.

 

 

# •

 

 

Lance found himself falling into strong, firm arms when his pod opened and he tumbled forwards. It took a moment for him to ground himself, opening his eyes one after the other with a low groan. He slowly registered where he was, despite his confused state. He then looked up to see the face of whoever was holding him, blinking owlish at the person before his brain recognized them.

 

“Shiro?”

 

The man smiled softly, looking at him. “Hey there, buddy. How do you feel?”

 

Lance managed to pull away to stand on his own feet, Shiro’s hands travelling to hold him by his biceps in case he lost balance. “I-I don’t know,” Lance frowned, gaze darting down. “I was falling and then it was really cold and everything went dark,” he muttered shakily before meeting Shiro’s eyes for answers. “Then I saw Keith-“

 

Blue eyes widened suddenly, recalling waking up in Keith’s arms. He had been first met with big, surprised violet orbs, looking at him like Lance had never seen Keith do. Keith was drenched, much like him, and his eyes were puffy and red; black hair stuck to his face, his wet locks meeting his shoulders and curling at its end. Keith’s pale, soft looking cheeks sported a rosy color, most likely from exhaustion and crying from what Lance could tell.

 

_Keith was the most beautiful person he had ever seen._

 

“Where’s Keith?!”

 

Shiro said nothing, taking a step back and gesturing to their side with his chin. Lance immediately turned around, his eyes quickly darting to the floor.

 

Keith was sitting on the ground, his side leaning heavily on the pod’s glass. His legs were folded together and his head lay resting on his shoulder, cheek squeezed by the glass due to his position, asleep. Lance felt his heart skip a beat at the unusual sight, slowly walking towards him.

 

“How long has he been here?” Lance asked in a surprised, quiet tone, without taking his eyes off Keith.

 

“I’m not sure,” Shiro replied. “He was here when I came to check on you after I woke up.”

 

Lance nodded absentmindedly, completely focused on the sleeping figure. He dropped to one knee in front of Keith, taking in his features. Keith had huge bags under his eyes, his bangs falling to cover most of his paler than usual face. His whole hair was a mess, looking like he had just gotten out of bed, which Lance guessed was probably the case. Keith’s chest heaved softly with each breath he took, calm and peaceful, inevitably making Lance smile.

 

As much as Keith looked adorable, Lance figured sleeping in that position couldn’t actually be good for Keith’s back or for properly resting. He leaned in closer, placing a hand on Keith’s shoulder and calling him in a whisper, getting nothing but a low grunt in response.

 

“Keith,” he said a bit louder. “C’mon, wake up.”

 

Keith slightly stirred, eyelids slowly lifting to uncover his eyes. He was first graced with the view of white tiles as his vision started focusing, his brain processing where he was. Still in a dazed state, Keith blinked and brought his gaze up to where the voice had come from and stared.

 

“Lance?” Keith breathed, eyes unfocused.

 

Lance let out a chuckle, smile only brightening. “Hey, man.”

 

It took a few seconds of staring into Lance’s amused eyes for Keith to awaken completely. His eyes instantly went wide and he abruptly pulled himself off the glass and leaned forward in Lance’s direction. His knees met the floor and soon so did his hands, each landing inches away from Lance’s knee while Keith’s eyes remained locked on his.

 

Lance was taken aback by Keith’s reaction, the sudden closeness between them making his breath hitch. He stared at the wide eyes watching him closely and felt like his whole body froze as he got lost in them.

 

“Lance,” Keith repeated in a breath, softening his gaze as relief embraced him. He checked the entirety of the tan face and had to hold back the urge to kiss it all over. He couldn’t help how his hand moved on its own, however, and soon a gloved palm found its way to Lance’s cheek and gently cupped it. Keith was too relieved to care. “How are you feeling? Are you okay? How long have you been awake?” Worry laced his voice as questions flowed out of his mouth in a fast pace.

 

Lance gulped and had to pause to register the words. “I’m good. Aside from being starved, I guess. And I got out just now,” he flashed a tentative smile and gestured with his thumb towards Shiro, who was silently watching them.

 

Keith’s eyes didn’t move from him. “I can make something for you,” he quickly replied. “Do you wanna shower? I can bring it to your room and then you can rest and-“

 

“Woah, Keith,” Lance interrupted Keith, who stared at him in confusion. “Calm down, okay? I’m actually feeling good, you don’t have to worry,” he whispered softly, smiling reassuringly at Keith. From their closeness, Lance could see how dried tear streaks decorated Keith’s face and how his body trembled almost imperceptibly.

 

There was no response; Keith simply continued his staring for a moment until his lips parted to let out a breath he had been holding without realizing it. Suddenly, Lance stood up and extended his hand for him to take. Keith dumbly stared at him before realizing he was supposed to take it, which he promptly did.

 

Lance pulled Keith to the floor and held him firmly as he swayed slightly, his balance unsteady. Keith held onto his shoulders in reflex, and Lance brought his hands to his waist to secure him. When Keith’s eyes were finally averted from Lance’s blue ones, they were landing on dark, curling lips instead, longingly. Before Keith could muster the courage to _do something,_ Lance silently removed his hands from Keith’s body and Keith’s from his own shoulder.

 

Swallowing his disappointment as he immediately missed the warmth, Keith frowned when Lance began lowering himself suddenly. Keith didn’t get to voice his question as a surprised sound escaped his lips and he was pulled from the ground; specifically, into Lance’s arms.

 

“What are you-“ Keith began before Lance started walking. His arms impulsively held onto Lance’s neck in order to get a better look at his face, wrapping themselves around it. “Lance, you just left the pod!”

 

“I told you, Mullet, I’m feeling great,” Lance assured once more, looking down at him with a smile. “But you could use some sleep. Y’know, in an actual bed.”

 

Keith frowned. “You’re the one who almost _drowned_ ,” Keith’s voice faltered, its owner going quiet. Lance pretended not to notice as he led them through the halls. It was quiet from then on, the only sounds echoing through the walls being of Lance’s steady steps. By the time they arrived at Keith’s door, Keith had passed out.

 

They had to talk, Lance was aware of it. Hell, he had been aware of it way before Keith had left. But what had just happened was different; Lance’s body trembled from the memory and he took a deep breath to keep his composure last just a little longer -  just enough to carry the beautiful boy in his arms to sleep peacefully for once, safe and sound in the room next to his.

 

The door swished open at their presence and Lance walked through it before approaching Keith’s messy bed. He carefully placed him on the mattress, his head falling on the pillow. Keith turned his body to the side, bangs falling over his forehead and part of his eyelids. Lance smiled and dutifully brought a warm blanket to cover the sleeping boy and, reluctantly, left the room.

 

He sighed loudly; although he really didn’t feel bad physically, Lance was tired and felt a persisting ache stuck deep in his chest. He made his way to his own door and immediately started pulling his suit’s zipper and taking it off. Lance put on boxers and comfortable pants before lying down on his bed and blacking out with ease.

 

 

# •

 

 

When night came - as their earthly timed clock showed - everyone found themselves in the kitchen, chatting away as Hunk finished preparing dinner. Keith was the last to arrive, wearing his usual clothes minus the jacket. He had woken from his nap just minutes before from Shiro knocking on his door to call him to eat with them.

 

He was feeling better, having slept for a few hours in an actual bed, but he still felt sluggish, moving slowly as his body’s soreness became more difficult to ignore without his previous sleepy haze. Keith rubbed his eyes, trying to focus better on his surroundings as his teammates greeted him excitedly. Keith managed a small smile in return, quickly taking a seat on the table.

 

Aside from Pidge and Allura who were already sitting, all the others were standing while they talked. Keith’s eyes met Lance’s, the tan boy offering a small smile before approaching him. Lance sat by Keith’s side, resting an elbow on the table and turning his body to Keith. “Sleep well?”

 

“Yeah,” Keith nodded in response. “I don’t think I’m fully awake yet.”

 

Lance chuckled. “I can tell. It’s good you got some rest, you were… Kinda out of it earlier.”

 

Keith dropped his gaze to the table, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. “I guess,” he nervously pulled a strand of hair behind his ear. “Sorry about that.”

 

“Y-you don’t have to apologize,” Lance quickly replied, leaning in a bit towards Keith. “I was just worried, you know?”

 

Keith stared at him for a moment and then sighed. He shook his head slightly before bringing his gaze back to Lance’s face. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

 

“What?” Lance frowned. “What do you mean?”

 

“Forget it,” Keith leaned back on his chair and folded his arms.

 

Before Lance could press on the subject, Hunk loudly announced the dinner was ready, the remaining seats soon being filled by his friends. Lance gulped and impulsively brought a palm to Keith’s bicep, instantly feeling how he tensed up at the touch. “Can we talk later? In my room o-or yours, or literally anywhere?” Lance whispered, intently staring at Keith’s widening eyes.

 

“Sure,” Keith managed, biting his lip. “Your room?”

 

“Alright,” Lance offered a tentative smile, squeezing Keith’s arm. “I’ll be waiting, Mullet.”

 

“O-okay,” Keith replied, suddenly shy, and turned away from him in reflex. When Lance’s hand was retrieved, Keith tried to relax and focus on the food. He did his best to listen to the conversation around the table, but all he could hear was the loud thudding of his heart.

 

 

# •

 

 

Keith thought of heading directly to Lance’s room after dinner, but decided against it and went to his own room instead. He hadn’t showered yet that day and although he hadn’t really done much to really need one, he thought it would do him good. Keith walked anxiously, playing with the end of his hair by curling a lock around his finger continuously. His eyes were glued to the ground as he found himself deep in thought.

 

What did Lance want to talk about? Was it about the incident? Did he want to _thank_ Keith?

 

Keith didn’t want that.

 

He walked through his door and immediately started stripping, throwing the clothes messily on the floor and on top of his bed. Keith went to the adjacent bathroom and was quick to start his shower, beginning with his hair. He didn’t take long to get out, bringing a small towel to lay around his shoulders before drying the rest of his body with a longer one. Soon Keith was putting on his clothes - another grey shirt and black jeans - and squeezing his hair with the towel before putting it away. He didn’t bother to wear his boots, leaving his room with bare feet.

 

Keith stood in front of Lance's door and took a deep breath. After barely two knocks on the surface, the door opened for him, revealing Lance with a smile to greet him. Keith’s breath hitched, having been met with the vision of Lance’s bare chest unexpectedly. He stared for a moment before forcing his eyes upwards to lock on Lance’s blue ones. Lance stepped to the side to let him in.

 

“So,” Lance started after the door closed behind him, looking at Keith. “I just… Wanted to know how you are?”

 

“Me?” Keith asked as his brows knitted together. “You gotta be kidding me.”

 

“I mean, I haven’t seen you in a while,” Lance explained, looking away and forcing a smile. “I can’t help but worry, you know?”

 

“You almost died, Lance!” Keith’s voice was quick to raise in volume, eyes widening into an incredulous stare. “And you’re worried about me?!”

 

Lance frowned as his gaze flickered between Keith’s angry eyes, attempting to read the boy. “What does that have to do with anything? You’re my friend, of course I’d worry about you.”

 

“You’re not serious,” Keith all but growled, stepping closer to Lance. “After what happened, you want to check if _I’m_ alright. That’s what you wanted to talk about?!”

 

“No! I mean, yeah,” Lance sighed, bringing a nervous hand to the back of his neck. “But not just that! I know what you did and I wanted to thank you. You know, for,” he paused. “Saving me, I guess.”

 

“You don’t have to-” Keith’s palms shot up to cover his face in sheer frustration. “Why are you like this?!”

 

“What the hell, Keith?!” it was Lance’s turn to raise his voice, hands balling into fists. “What do you want me to say?!”

 

“I don’t know! Anything but that!” Keith tore his hands away, meeting Lance’s confused stare once more. “You were drowning! If I had taken just a minute, maybe even seconds longer to get to you-” Keith blinked welling tears away, his body beginning to shake. “And you’re worried about me! What’s wrong with you?!”

 

“I’m worried because you don’t look okay!”

 

“I’m not okay, Lance!” Keith yelled in response. “You weren’t even awake when I found you! You were just. Lying there-“ his eyes began to burn, his vision becoming blurry. “You have any idea what it was like?! I tried everything and you- You-“

 

“It was terrifying,” Keith closed his eyes shut as if he were in pain. “You weren’t breathing, Lance.”

 

“Keith-“

 

“I kept pressing your chest and nothing,” Keith eyed him as a few stray tears escaped to stain his cheeks. “Then, I-I moved to CPR and nothing. You just wouldn’t respond to any of it. You were there, right in front of me, _dying._ ”

 

Lance listened intently, chest clenching with each strained word. After a pause, he grabbed one of Keith’s hands and gently pressed it on his skin, right over his heart. Keith visibly shivered, his hand trembling as Lance held it. “I remember it,” Lance whispered, getting closer to him. “I don’t know how, but I do.”

 

Keith stared at him, confused. “What?”

 

“You were yelling and crying,” Lance smiled faintly, averting his gaze to the pale hand still pressed against his tan chest softly. “You said a bunch of stuff too.”

 

“You…” Keith swallowed dryly. “Heard all that?”

 

Nodding simply, Lance looked up at the surprised violet orbs, staring searchingly into them. “I need to know something, Keith,” he breathed. “I want that nightmare to count for something. I don’t wanna ignore what I felt back there.”

 

Keith was breathless, suddenly feeling he was in danger of drowning himself - of being swallowed by the intense depth of Lance’s impossibly blue eyes. “What are you talking about?”

 

“Everything you said,” Lance started. “Did you mean it?”

 

Keith looked down and nodded, focusing on the feeling of Lance’s steady, somewhat quick heartbeat vibrating through his palm. There was no way he could lie. “Of course,” he answered.

 

Lance mimicked his nod in understanding, pulling Keith’s hand away from his body to embrace it with both of his ones. “I missed you,” Lance confessed, feeling Keith tense up at the words. “Some nights were so bad I could only think of taking off with Red to find you.”

 

Keith stared up at him in surprise, lips parted from his difficulty to breathe. “Lance…”

 

“I dream of you getting hurt all the time. I just- Wanted to have you here and make sure you were fine, you know?” Lance worried his lip between his teeth for a moment. “I can’t even call you or anything, it fucking sucks. I wonder about how you’re doing all the time, Keith,” he paused, knitting his brows together. “Of course I’d want to know it now.”

 

Lance took a deep breath as Keith kept quiet, only able to look at him wide-eyed. “And what’s up with that look, man,” Lance laughed sadly. “It didn’t even cross your mind that you were missed?”

 

“I-” Keith gulped, unsure of what to reply. “It’s just- When you say it like that…”

 

Lowering their hands, Lance tilted his head to the side. “What about it?”

 

Keith stared at their linked hands, unconsciously squeezing Lance’s. “I didn’t know.”

 

Lance smiled gently. “That’s why I’m telling you, Mullet. You’re not exactly the brightest guy I know.”

 

“Shut up,” Keith easily retorted, but it lacked any bite.

 

“I’m not done, though,” Lance whispered, watching Keith blink up at him in question. He took a moment to flicker his stare between the expectant eyes before opening his mouth. “You’re a paladin of Voltron.”

 

Keith frowned. “That’s-”

 

“You have to save the universe,” Lance interrupted him, efficiently shutting Keith up as the boy tensed at the recognizable words. “You have to go back to rub it in that jerk Iverson’s face how you’re a hero,” Lance laughed lightly.

 

“Lance,” Keith let out a faltering breath. “You don’t have to say that back.”

 

“Shh, I want to. It works both ways, right?” Lance grinned. “Because I feel the same about you,” he said and felt his heart race inside his chest, the words Lance forced to come out finally carrying an anxious weight along. Before Keith could say anything, Lance had made his mind.

 

Doing his best not to avert his gaze from Keith’s suddenly dumbfounded, continuous stare, Lance took a deep breath. “And I- When all of this is over, Keith-” he intertwined their fingers together, noticing a rosy shade take over Keith’s cheeks. He gulped, willing himself to finish what he had started.

 

“Would you… Come home with me?”

 

“What-” Keith was speechless, eyes wide in astonishment. “W-Why would you want me-”

 

“Because,” Lance stared at him lovingly, letting his emotions spill for the first time. His voice faltered and his smile shook, wanting more than anything to drown in the feeling for as long as possible. “ _There’s no point in saving a universe without you in it_. Why would I want someone so special to be away from me?”

 

Shocked by the repeated words, Keith brought his gaze back to his pale hand contrasting with Lance’s smooth, tan skin. He focused on their closeness - Lance was there, he was alive, he was _breathing_ \- and so wonderfully warm. Lance was like a beacon of light when everything went dark; a reason to keep fighting and pulling through for _himself_ , when all he could was feel like a fighting machine, destined to live and die in war.

 

Keith needed Lance like the moon needed the sun.

 

Before Lance could realize it, Keith had thrown himself against him, wrapping his arms around Lance’s neck. Lance immediately brought his own arms to Keith’s waist, pulling him closer in a tight embrace.

 

 “Idiot,” Keith muttered quietly against Lance’s neck, closing his eyes. “I’d follow you anywhere.”

 

_Atlantis held nothing against him._

 

“I missed you,” he breathed, almost inaudibly.

 

Lance’s heart skipped a beat and he smiled brightly at Keith, pulling him away to be able to see his face properly. “I missed you too,” Lance gently said, before frowning slightly. “Are you… Staying? You know, in the castle?”

 

“I don’t feel like leaving,” Keith easily replied. He paused, eyes darting down in uncertainty. “At all. If that’s okay.”

 

Staring in confusion at Keith, Lance took his time to grasp what the other was trying to say. “You- You mean you want to-“

 

“If that’s okay,” Keith repeated himself more loudly than before, folding his arms and studying the floor attentively. He glanced up at Lance, only to find the boy standing frozen with parted lips as his blue, shocked-looking eyes kept glued to Keith. Keith bit his lip and shook his head. “Forget it, I’m going to my room.”

 

“No, I mean-“ Lance started, quickly reaching out to grip Keith’s bicep, making said boy halt on the spot and look at him questioningly. “I just- Wasn’t expecting it. O-Of course you can stay, if you want to.”

 

Lance felt more than saw Keith relax at his words. Keith glanced away, trying to no avail to make his obvious blush less visible to Lance, who found himself relishing in it. “So…”

 

“Are you tired? I know we both slept for a while before dinner, but that didn’t do much for me if I’m being honest,” Lance said in a calming tone, doing his best to ease Keith’s nervousness that surely matched his own.

 

Keith nodded shortly. “Yeah, me neither.”

 

“Go ahead,” Lance gestured to his unmade bed, grinning. “Do you need another pillow or something?”

 

“No…” Keith whispered in reply, staring at the light blue covers and blankets. He climbed into the mattress, wondering how it could feel so foreign and make him so anxious when he had one exactly like it. Keith slowly crawled to the further side by the wall before settling down, lying on his side turned to Lance. “You coming or what?”

 

Lance didn’t have to be asked twice. He turned off the lights before lying down on the bed. He made sure to cover them both before settling on Keith’s side and turning to look at him. “You good?”

 

With only stars lighting the room, Keith’s violet eyes darkened and reflected a dark blue that captivated Lance. Keith hesitantly brought a palm to cup Lance’s cheek, softly. Lance’s smile at the action encouraged him; he slowly inched closer to Lance, until their noses almost brushed. Lance saw the silent question shining in Keith’s eyes and decided to help him, closing the distance himself. The soft touch made him feel goosebumps; Keith made a content noise, pushing his body closer to Lance’s as Lance’s hands traveled to his waist to hold him more tightly.

 

Time stopped; they weren’t able to tell how long they stayed that way, sharing kisses and long hidden feelings across the night. Keith fell asleep in Lance’s arms, feeling love like he had never experienced before. Lance kissed the top of his head with a whispered promise of never letting him leave again, before following him suit into a dreamless slumber.

 

If Lance was a creature of the sea and Keith an angel from the skies, they would travel however long in order to meet each other halfway.

**Author's Note:**

> writing this was incredibly important to me, I felt like I explored sides of Keith and Lance I hadn't touched yet and I could easily pour my feelings into it. this was inspired by the song faded by alan walker, it just... gives me langst vibes?
> 
> comments and kudos warm my heart!! you can find me @ thewanderingplanetes on tumblr ;)
> 
> thank you for reading, i love all of you <3


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